Wednesday, 15 February 2012
I’m still a little shaken. I woke after another version of my Fear Dream. All ended well but it was scary.
The theme is always something to do with heights. usually I’ve climbed to a high place. The climb always involves a measure of risk. At some point the way down becomes impossible or a leap in faith beyond my physical ability is required. At this point I either wake up in a terrible state or I find an alternative way.
This time the setting was a campus with a few ‘play’ structures. There were some high, square towers which looked like a series of slatted wooden crates stacked to a great height, maybe 60-70 feet/20-23m, standing on concrete paving.. The challenge was to come down them head first using the slats as hand hold and one’s feet to balance and also use the slats as footholds. Crazy thing to do but like all dreams it made sense at the time.
Some of the towers were straightforward in that the slats were evenly spaced but a few had tricky places where the gaps and handholds were hard to get hold of in a safe way. I had done this previously with success. This time I inadvertently chose a tower with tricky spaces. When I reached the hard place and tried many times to work out how to get past and continue my descent. I was aware of the hard landing and was still to high up to risk a fall.
Finally I asked for help …. there were many people around and help was quickly available. Someone anchored my feet and after little time I felt safe enough to try again to make a good, strong hand hold.
I found a hold I was confident with but in the meantime another safety feature had kicked in. The tower unfolded a bit like an escalator and I was on the ground which had become soft grass. Although relieved I felt cheated as though I’d failed the challenge.
What interested me on reflection were two things. First I asked for help and it was there and effective so that I felt safe. The second thing was when I felt safe enough to make a move, suddenly it was all over. What a relief.
To me this dream was all about trusting the support of other people and knowing when to ask for help. There was also that little bit about receiving help and making the next move for myself. This to me represented feeling safe enough to move. Although still afraid I acted on my faith in the help. I trusted others to be there for me and keep me safe while I did what I needed to do.
Considering what has been going on in our lives for the past few months a dream like this is not surprising. A couple of hours have gone by and I’m not so shaky now. Writing this down has helped.