OOPS! Blogger is playing around again and I can't get my photos to upload. Why don't they get things right before they inflict us with their so-called upgrades? Grrrr!
We have been staying at Mum's house for the last couple of nights. Jay is becoming anxious that Mum is alone when she goes to work in the mornings. Mum does usually improve as the day goes along but she is becoming more breathless, more frail and has less energy. This is such a drawn out process. Generally speaking Mum still has much enjoyment off life. She is able to watch the goings on on the beach from her chair placed to get the best view. She still has a clear mind although sometimes her memories get a but fuddled but no more than mine. She is still able to control her finances and living conditions. She enjoys her meals, reads fine print with the aid of a magnifying glass, does crosswords and other puzzles, has the Tv turned up loud to watch her favourite TV programmes. The two most important shows seem to be Antiques Road Show and a few other spin offs and Egg Heads a British quizz. I encourage her to watch Turner Classic Movies which I can enjoy too. Her mobility is poor and she needs help showering now. Until last week she was still having baths and getting in and out on her own but a bout of gout which attacked her wrist meant she was unable to use it and needed help. I doubt if she has had her last bath but she will be a lot more careful about assessing her strength and wellness first. She does have a good shower so it's not a big deal except that she likes to sit and soak a little.
It's hard to think of Mum living several more years but that's still a possibility. It's not easy watching her become increasingly dependent and I'm not comfortable with it although being the eldest I seem to be the one who feels the greatest responsibility and this is reinforced by John. He would never let me run away no matter how frustrated he gets with the situation. I seem to have come to some kind of peace over our situation and it doesn't drive me bananas in the same way it was a year ago.
Financially we are in a crazy position but part of that is undoubtedly due to the discovery of how much we love to travel. We did overstretch ourselves and there's a price to pay. We manage but it does mean we have to account for every penny and have reduced and streamlined everything we can so that we still have grocery and petrol money. I find it a little stressful at times but we get by. I'm sure there are still a few more places we can make savings but I'm not yet ready to be stingy about my hot water usage and I refuse to buy cheaper brands unless they are equally tasty and healthy. We still have a good life. Everyone lives with limitations even multi-millionaires, although I can't think what they would go without.
The Christchurch earthquakes have affected us all. When we were in Christchurch three weeks ago, it didn't seem so bad but then we were in a low point regarding the frequency and strength of the quakes. Since Monday's quake which was equal to the big February one, we are all edgy. Will there be another and how will the people cope and how will our country cope? It's very unsettling. Our city son, the one we stayed with would like to plan to leave the city but ..... his wife is growing a small business in spite of the disruption. Her parents are unlikely to move away and they need the support of their two daughters. Wayne and Amanda have a house in the affected area which will probably be hard to sell. It is on the fringe of the area which will become a 'No Build Zone.' They have a mortgage. You can't walk away from some situations without a plan. Most of the city is unscathed but the devastation is extensive. They will stay.
The city will rebuild and be beautiful again but it's going to take a long time. It will be interesting to look upon the changes in say 10 years. I can understand that some people are showing the same kind of trauma found in war zones. The worst part must be the inability to see a stable future and fear of the unknown. You watch people's faces and no matter how stoic they appear, fear darkens their eyes and tell tale muscles tense.
Here I am an Island away feeling so anxious for them all. It is affecting my sleep and my mood. The amazing thing is that although I'm not trying to diet I seem to have found a comfortable place where most days I eat well and continue to work toward my weight loss. I'm also taking herbal capsules called Candida Yeast Support. After more than a month some of my symptoms seem to be abating. I've ordered another month's supply but will share these with John because he has Chronic Sinus. It is messing up his general health and I apparently candida yeast can be a major contributing factor. It's expensive and will cost us $100 a month but it's worth it if his symptoms are significantly relieved because traditional medicine is not offering him anything. So far our beautiful daughter has paid but I will have to start reimbursing her now.
Was that a gloomy post? Maybe it's the weather. Grey, cold and raw with wind from the south east whistling around the house and grey seas crashing onto the beach 30 or 40 metres/yards away.
All in all I'm happy with where I am and the kind of day I'm having, but I know it could be better. A walk in the wind would do me good but do I have the will to get out there? That's the Big Question for me today.