Sunday, April 3, 2011

I pinched these wise words from Rick, one of the RV Bloggers I read regulalry.

The main thing is keeping healthy. Without good health, nothing else really matters anyway! Everything else is small stuff, so I
“don’t sweat the small stuff” .

Rick was talking about the kind of lifestyle we choose and whether we make our home as Full Time Rvers or live in an ordinary house, (stix 'n bricks), going for short or long trips. I have been thinking about this all day. Partly because I am living in a house I would never have bought if I'd know it would become our home. Long story but the short version is it was meant to be a quick flick investment. Family needs and a recession got in the way. I'm happy enough here, who wouldn't be, but I'm still struggling 3 years on to think of it as home.

The other reason this has got to me is that I am on a quest to improve my health and a large part of that is eating right and exercising, (for me that means walking) with a purpose. I need to lose weight. Currently I weigh exactly what I weighed in June 2010. I've been virtually maintaining this weight for nearly a year. That was never the plan.

There are reasons for my lack of progress toward my weight goal and the reasons look feeble but none the less they are only too real.

1. My skin condition drives me crazy. I've tried so many things and I get some relief from time to time but I sleep badly. Hence I need to rest before I get tired.

2. I can't stay away from bread long enough to make a serious difference. I know how bread or wheat or too many carbohydrates affect me but I've been eating them as though I have no problem. I have become lethargic, mildly depressed and lazy. Hence I need to rest before I get tired.

I really really like bread as breakfast toast, as a sandwich for lunch with loads of filling and as an occasional snack. I also like coffee and I keep sneaking in extra cups. I tend to become addicted to bread, coffee and chocolate. Most of the other sweet and high carb foods I can wean myself off without too much trouble, altough it's not wise for me to have cake or biscuits in the pantry. I no longer buy chocolate. I try not to have it in the house ever. But bread is a staple.

Bread is often called the staff of life. It's basic. Jesus broke a loaf and shared the broken pieces, telling those present to eat often to remind us of His Body, broken for us.

All around the world every culture seems to have some form of bread made from grain.

How can I escape?

We bought a Bread Maker recently. John is enjoying making and eating his own bread and I'm happy about that because he was buying the cheapest supermarket bread and it was rubbish .... not at all good quality. Far better that he eat home made because John will never give up his bread and nor he should. He doesn't have any problems. He maintains the same weight year after year.

I have to test each and every loaf ....... As the housekeeper and chief cook that's my duty.

The weeks have gone by and I've got away with my testing and sandwich lunches. But there's been a cost. I'm not as lively or energetic as when I kept to low carbohydrates. That's why I need to rest before I get tired.

You could say this is a kind of confession and it is. I have slipped back into bad patterns and I can see that I'm in real danger of tipping into serious weight gain, and other problems. This will not do. I've only lost 10%. I need to lose another 10% and do it again and again until I have lost at least 40% altogether. Put that way it sounds so easy so why aren't I doing it?

Answer:- Because I'm eating bread. It just sets me up to fail.

Some people drink alcohol, some people eat chocolate, some people eat takeaway, and I eat bread.

Once again I am thinking I must draw that imaginary line in the sand and say from this point on NO BREAD.

That makes me feel very sad.

I did a little research on bread and found the following statement here

A final word of caution. People who suffer with chronic fatigue, immune dysfunction, food allergies, chemical sensitivities, environmental illness, or so-called Candida or yeast related illness are often sensitive to the gluten in whole grain wheat. Paradoxically, people with such chromic problems may feel worse when the improve their diets to include whole, unrefined grains. Whole grains contain more of everything and are thus more likely to aggravate allergies. Because many of the nutrients in white flour are partially denatured or removed during the refining process, it is less allergic.

I can't say this has been my experience because mostly I either eat bread made with regular flour, white and wholemeal, or not at all. But the highlighted symptoms are what I have lived with for nearly 40 years. And I still haven't fully accepted that this is my life.

I want to stay in denial or fantasy land where this problem doesn't exist.

This is as important to my well being as it is for someone with type 2 diabetes to control the sugars in their diet. It's simple.

But I have been unable to maintain the discipline long term.

I should be in bed and I think I'm starting to go round in circles.

Dear Father God,
Let these meandering thoughts settle.
In the night hours, as I sleep,
Let it become settled in my heart and mind,
That I abandon bread,
Turn away from eating all forms of bread,
For as long as it takes to restore my body
To normal, to your blueprint,
To the plan you have in heaven
'Til I become the person with the body
You designed before the Beginning of time.


Pretty Pauline said...

My problem isn't bread, but I do have weight loss problems (ICE CREAM!) and totally identified with all of this post! I wish it weren't so hard...

Rettakat said...

Yep... bread can be problematic. Occasionally now I have one piece at a time (usually ONE!), of a high fiber/lower carb sprouted bread. But most of the time, we use a substitute recipe, that has no flour/grains/gluten in it.

Or low carb tortillas. Or one of a myriad of bread substitute recipes, like coconut flour bread; oopsie roll recipes; bread like recipes, flatbread recipes made from chia seeds... I could go on and on.

Bottomline, none taste exactly like real bread. I had to decide it was worth it to me to use the substitute. I did lots of experimenting, and had lots of failures. But found several not-so-hard yet tastey things that worked. I've even taken my "bread" with me, and threw out the flour bun from a burger to use mine.

In my Blogroll, there is a link to 24/7 Low Carb Diner. She has several recipes that I use regularly.

But I've written about it so many times I fear seeming redundant: it's not really about the food. It's not. It's about why we do something that hurts us when we KNOW it will hurt us. We must work on our inside, our spirit, our thinking.

I truly believe God has such compassion on us. He is not condemning... He hears our heart's cry.

This morning, I was feeling sooo tired of this journey, then stumbled on the video I posted, and it totally lifted me up, and I felt hugged by God.

May He hug you today, too.

Mama Bear June said...

Do you have a place that sells gluten-free bread? I found a yummy 7-grain bread with no gluten. I also have a friend who has a naturopath doctor who can zap those sensitivities. Kind of hoping I can go back to gluten and dairy products!