Sunday, 17 October 2010
EXPOSED EMOTIONS AND FINALLY SOME PEACE
Wow! I'm getting back into the habit of going to Church.
It's great being in the Lord's house on a Sunday morning with friends. The music was lively and I couldn't keep my feet still. I like lots of space so went to the back of the auditorium, it's also more freeing because I'm out of sight of most of the congregation. I twirled and worshipped as I danced and gave my heart to the Lord. I love to do that but I haven't felt that kind of freedom and desire very many times in the last few years. Being close to God can release emotion and then I was face down crying my heart out. Why don't these moments stay at home?
In recent months I have been really upset by a decision someone made to leave her husband. I know it was her choice and I do understand her reasons but that still doesn't make it right. Finally I faced my broken-heartedness for this couple and their children. this is a Christian couple and I believe when our marriage vows are made before God they are sacred. I would never expect anyone to stay in a marriage where there is infidelity or abuse, but in this case neither of those apply.
Peace came. Romans 8:28 says And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Finally I can trust God to work this out for the best of everyone concerned. I've forgiven the one who left the marriage and I'm expecting to be able to meet her without my 'old man' rising up in judgement.
I dried my tears and washed my face and the meeting continued with a joyful time. Then the preacher was introduced and his subject contained little encouraging for me. In fact it was a real downer. I respect this preacher and recognised the truth if not portions of the delivery. At the end I sat quietly letting the CD that was playing soothe my soul. A friend came and hugged me tight understanding that I was going through 'something.'
Later we shared a light lunch but I was still full of mixed up emotions that I didn't want to take home to TWJ. I stopped off at Kuaotuna on the way home and bought a cappuccino and chocolate brownie. Yes, I know, comfort food! I took these photos in a moment when the rain eased up.
At last I felt able to go home and enjoy the remainder of the day with my own beloved husband.