The road to Arrowtown
My next post will be about our trip to Rotorua. In the meantime I have some pondering to do.
I've maintained the same weight for the last 3 months if you call going up and down 3 or 4 kg, (about 7 or 8 pounds) maintaining. I need to consider what I am doing and what I should do about it.
I took this questionnaire from Loretta's Journal.
1. What are you really hungry for?
2. Why are you overweight?
3. Why have you been unable to lose wt, or to maintain wt loss in the past?
4. What in your life is not working?
5. Why do you want to lose this weight?
There are no quick answers.
I can answer 5. I want to be healthier. I am 71 and heading for a miserable old age if I don't get cracking now. I can still walk and it doesn't take long for me to see some results in the form of improved fitness, but this won't last unless I get moving both physically and with some weight loss. It would also be nice to buy reasonably priced attractive clothes. Currently it seems I must go to the designer shops, My favourite, Kooky Fashions is still middle priced but slightly beyond my pocket right now. Their clothes always seem to be the right cut for me and I can always find something that looks good.
What am I really hungry for?
Freedom to live my life as I wish. It's not going to happen anytime soon so I had better get over it and live with what we have and make the most of it. It would be too sad if I woke up one day and faced up to how I have frittered away so much time dreaming for what is impossible right now, instead of LIVING with a capital L.
Why am I fat and over-weight, obese to be more precise?
Because I eat too many calories often enough for it to be a problem and I don't get enough exercise. I am sensitive to carbohydrates and need to limit myself to less than 100gms grams of carbohydrates per day. I am over sensitive to gluten - causes gut and skin irritation so I need to find an alternative to bread which satisfies. There's another reason too. It's more personal and I'll not use it as an excuse since my age makes it less relevant. I've done a huge amount of work in dealing with underlying, inner issues and I believe myself to be in a the best place to deal with my weight than any other time.
Why have I been unable to lose wt, or to maintain wt loss in the past?
Many reasons and no particular reason. The greatest hindrance in my present life seems to be a lack of willingness to be consistent day after day, week after week. This is the one thing I need to address seriously. The greatest issue is around bread. Even baked goods do not derail me to the same degree because they ae occasional foods. Bread on the other hand is readily available and considered a staple food. Yet for me it is the one thing guaranteed to throw me off plan and set up cravings and desires for food that will sabotage my efforts.
4. What in my life is not working?
Quite a lot of things yet none of them are important enough to hinder me.
I am my own worst enemy in leading a healthy life.
For instance I am surviving on less than 4 hours sleep last night and there is no-one to blame except me.
The real problem seems to be my lack of order and consistency.
I suspect this has something to do with my poor spiritual life.
Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.Matthew 6:33.
I know this. It's as simple as chips but I don't always apply it with passion.
The other thought that's trolling around in my head has to do with foods that I say "NO" to on a fairly permanent basis.
I really struggle with this. I know which foods do me harm but I am still brainwashed by all the statements saying, "everything in moderation." I do not feel deprived when I avoid trigger foods, unhealthy foods and high calorie foods. I have never felt deprived so why do I buy into the weight loss gurus who insist that 'A little bit of what you fancy does no harm.'
For me that's like waving a red rag at a bull. It's putting temptation in front of me until I break down.
There are some things in this world which we all know are wrong. Things that hurt other people are top of the list. What then is wrong with me having a personal list of things that are wrong for me to eat?
Would I deliberately be a drunken driver? Would I deliberately arm myself and go rob someone?
So why do I do all these things to myself.
Eating certain foods attacks my brain as effectively as too much alcohol.
Placing certain foods in my trolly at the SuperMarket is like putting a dangerous weapon of self destruction in my hands.
I could go on at length finding more metaphors but I've got all I need.
I need to say "no"
There may be no food that is truly bad but not all things are suitable to achieve the results I want.
Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial.1 Corinthians 6:12
I am working on a plan that is sustainable. A routine that fits with the rhythm of our days. I am determined to change things so that not another day goes by without contributing to my good health.