Wednesday, May 5, 2010


This is amazing. We never expected her to live this long. Her health over recent years has been quite poor so we are delighted that she is so well. Mum is not very mobile. She uses a walker around the house and we take a wheel chair for Drs. visits as she is not usually able to manage much more than 20 or 30 metres/yards on her own legs.

Mum is very much in control of her own life and manages all her affairs. We talked her into having breakfast in bed a couple of years ago as her medication and heart condition makes her very slow getting started each day. Usually she reads the newspaper and does the puzzles before getting up. She still baths or showers herself. It is a very bad day that Mum does not get dressed. Mum potters in the kitchen often getting her own morning tea, lunch, and even dinner if it doesn't take too much preparation. On good days she does little chores like her own laundry. She fusses over her two Rag-doll cats and spends the rest of the day reading, writing to family and friends, (in spite of poor eyesight), watching TV and nodding off to sleep.

Last November Mum was not as well as this and she spent no time in her kitchen. Sometime during the year we had even arranged for a personal carer to come once a week to help with bathing and washing her hair.

Mum used to go for a swim in the sea every morning from December to May. I think her last swim was about 4 years ago. That is something because our sea is not warm except for a few days in late January and February. Today Mum says she doesn't miss swimming because her body just feels too weary and the thought of it is no longer appealing. Instead she watches all the activity on the beach from her chair. She has a lovely view and enjoys telling us which families are on holiday and trying to remember the names of all the children. Of course there have been many changes over the years and there are many people on 'our' beach who we don't know.

This day is also clouded with our grief for Jenny. Yesterday the Doctors declared her brain dead. Life support was continued until her daughter arrived from Bali and the organ transplant team were ready. As yet we don't know which day her funeral will be.

Over the last 24 hours I've been trying to make sure that everyone who we had invited to the Birthday Party on Saturday know what is going on and that we've cancelled it. Some cousins have opted to come anyway because they have travel arrangements in place and Mum will not be going to the funeral.

We believe Jenny fell asleep at the wheel less than 15 minutes from home. I have plenty to say but that's for another day. Meantime please don't drive when weary. Please take regular rest breaks. Don't take risks. Even if you don't care for your own life remember the aftermath of a serious accident is horrible for your friends and family.

On that sombre note I'm off to make our dessert for lunch and think about Mum for the rest of the day. Hope to have some nice photos to add later.


Cammy said...

Isn't it odd that life sometimes gives us profound joy and grief at the same time? I'm so sorry for your family's loss, but hope that you're all able to rally to honor your mother's beautiful life.

Crystal said...

i'm soooo sorry to hear about your loss... but your mom, AMAZING! no one in my family has lived that long... my thoughts and prayers are with your entire family - for jenny and your mom :)

Kate said...

such a bittersweet post, facing the death of a loved one but also celebrating the amazing life of another. i loved reading what you wrote about your mum, it brought a tear to my eye :) sending you big hugs and thinking of you xo

Chris H said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Your MUM! A great age to reach.
Sorry to read you have lost someone close... so sad.

Thrice Blessed said...

Sadly, often people don't realize how tired they are until they nod off. I'm sure if Jenny realized she was actually tired enough to fall asleep she would have pulled over.

How sad for your family. You are all in my prayers. :(

Margie M. said...

I am so sorry for your loss and your sorrow at the same time as when you are celebrating the joy of your Mum's birthday. I think you are right in letting the party go on. Blessings to you all.

Hippygal said...

Happy Birthday to your mum... and sorry to hear about Jenny. Take care xx

Mama Bear June said...

Happy Birthday to your Mum! What a wonderful life she's led!
Path to Health

Chibi said...

Oh, MargieAnne! I'm so very sorry to read about Jenny. :( You're all in my thoughts and prayers. <3

(But on a brighter note, happy birthday to your mom!)

Traci said...

So sorry about Jenny. That has to be so hard. Your mom sounds amazing. I hope to be doing all of my own stuff at that age too.