Monday, 17 May 2010
TIME TO FOCUS, UNDO THE DAMAGE AND GET BACK INTO MY PROGRAM
The last two weeks have taken their toll on my weight loss and fitness aspirations. I have been working my program but it was all fairly fragile. After all the years of watching my weight, whether it was going up and down or in maintenance mode, and stressing about being overweight, whether or not I was, and then my more recent determined plans to change my life forever, I knew it wouldn't take much to undermine my efforts.
The 'nothing much' was in reality a major series of events that I had no control over. I could have continued eating and exercising to plan and some people would have succeeded in that but for me it was enough to survive each day as well as I could. I think it is remarkable that I've come through with a 3 pound gain and am able to re-focus on my plan. Many times in the past I would have continued eating badly for another few days or weeks or months. I could call this an NSV but since there has been a weight gain it doesn't sit well with me.
A lot of the credit for my ability to remain on focus must go to my husband. TWJ has continued to be my rock through it all and most importantly has prepared my breakfast smoothie at the same time each day. I am so thankful to him. Our day to day routine has been seriously challenged and I no longer cope with changes as well as I once might have. He has provided stability.
For those who are new readers, we had plans to celebrate my mother's 95th birthday on May 5th with a small family luncheon and a larger 'Open House' on the following Saturday. On Tuesday, May 4th, Jenny, one of my sisters in law was declared brain dead after a nasty car accident the previous evening. Our plans were modified and we came through it all as best we could. After two weeks my first thought when I wake up each morning remains, "I'll never hear Jenny's voice again."
When younger I thrived on doing things differently every day. A certain routine was enforced by TWJ's work, the children's school times etc. but I have never wanted to be bound by routine. I saw routine as a killer of spontaneity. I loved having the freedom to act on impulse, the whim of the moment. I'm still that person but age is changing my ability to cope. I have to plan, think through things so as not to over extend myself. I need a basic routine. I need to have order in my life. I take longer to create order after a chaotic period. I feel as though I'm getting boring but I have to change the way I do things to survive.
I don't like admitting age is changing the way I live but there is a reality I must face. I will be 71 in a few short weeks. In today's world that is still young. Many my age are vigorous, participating in sport, still competitive, and involved in all kinds of social activities, even holding down jobs. Bucket lists and adventures have become the norm. There are few limits to what we can do as we grow older but we do have to plan with a different emphasis.
Weight loss and fitness are no exception. I can still lose weight, almost as easily as when younger. I've proved this to myself. I can still exercise, but I must plan so that I don't over-extend my self on any one day or week. Over-extending myself leads to 'crash and burn' and it takes a long time for me to pick up the pieces these days. My recovery times are lengthy both physically and mentally.
Age has some benefits. I know myself better than at any time previously. I understand more about how my body functions, I know what works, what doesn't and what is worth experimenting with. There is one thing I miss. I haven't found anyone else in my age group who has picked themselves up and changed their life from obese to slim, from couch potato to active, from flabby, ugly to shapely muscles. My peers in this journey are all many years younger. I'm so glad to see them change their lives while young. Their wisdom and experience all help me but I cannot follow them. There is a sense in which I am on my own. I'm here not to prove anything, because I don't think there is anything to prove about weight loss and fitness, but to demonstrate that what is feasible in theory works in practice.
I am so grateful to this world of weight loss and fitness Bloggers. They encourage me to do what is best for me.
I am a pioneer. I am a woman on a mission to change an aging fat body into a healthy, fit, slim body.