Sunday, 9 May 2010
I WANT TO EAT UNTIL I CANNOT EAT ANYTHING MORE
A family group of cousins
Can you see the cards Chris H made?
Mum's 95 birthday card, with the big heart and toward the right the Mother's Day card. I was so pleased to receive these in the mail. I'm sorry I didn't realise until I uploaded the photos today that Chirs's cards are not displayed very well, but I think you get the idea of how talented this lady is.
Yesterday cake got the better of me. It really began on Friday when I sneaked a few small pieces of Mum's Birthday Cake. This is a fruit cake covered with almond icing and white icing and although it was too sweet I did eat some. The cake is not the best cake we have ever made but I am totally fond of fruit cake. It is my nemesis.
Yesterday some of Mum's cousins, 2 of her nephews and my brother as well as the eldest daughter and her husband of Jenny, who died after a car accident earlier in the week, had lunch with Mum to mark her 95th Birthday. Thank goodness it was not the crowd we had originally anticipated. We'd put out on the grapevine to our neighbours and Mum's church folk that we'd not be having an 'Open Home' so it was only family and 16 of us was quite enough. But there was wall to wall food and so much cake. There was no food totally MargieAnne friendly except a frittata, and some savoury eggs. I should have been sensible and stayed with it but all that temptation spread out in front of me.... tooo toooo much! Savoury pastries, asparagus rolls and several varieties of cake, some with cream filling and all delicious. I rationalised that it was only for a few hours and it would be all gone so a little taste here and another taste there wouldn't do too much harm. And it won't so long as I stay away from all sweet and starchy food today. It's not easy but at least I'm back in my own home and have total control over the food I put on view.
I didn't really over eat during the day I just snacked and in a crowd there is more talking than eating but it also means there is a lot of thoughtless eating. It was when we got home and began to unwind that things went a little wrong. I was very tired but for some reason not sleepy. We had a reasonable tea. I still had some vegetable frittata left so I topped it with a slice of cheese. My sister-in-law, the one who can drive me crazy but is also very kind, gave us a container of soup for tea. I only had a small portion because it was loaded with pasta but it was very tasty so TWJ had no problem eating it. BUT WE FOOLISHLY BROUGHT HOME A FULL PACKET OF MINI CHOCOLATE ECLAIRS. Ostensibly they were for TWJ but I FOOLISHLY OPENED THEM AND I HAVE EATEN HALF OF THESE SWEET LITTLE BABY ECLAIRS. Each one is a single mouthful or maybe two bites worth of delicious cream puff pastry filled with Crème Pâtissière and topped with chocolate. I ate way too many, as far as I can tell about 340 calories worth, and today pay the price for eating all that stuff ..... evil food cravings.
I must ignore the call of these things.
I must ignore the call.
I must ignore the call.
I really must be strict today because we have a very big day tomorrow.
We will leave home about 9.30 am, with Barbara, and go to Mum's where we pick up Mum's wheel chair and our daughter, Jay. Our driving should only be 2 and half hours plus loo stops and we'll stop for lunch at a Cafe, possibly at the Kaimai Cheese Factory. We've been told to be at the funeral venue by 1 pm. We expect it to be an extended service .... actually we have no idea what to expect. I think there is seating for 200 people but it might be standing room only for many. It's going to be an emotional day.
Later we need to have food and drink and I am hoping we can be ready to leave by 4 pm. But who knows? Then we drive home and there will not be many places where we can stop for coffee or meal. I need to think through what I'm going to do if it is a Takeaway. I will get Mum settled and we have Barbara to see home. I don't expect to be home in our cosy house before 10 pm. That's a big day for us when you take in all the emotion and driving.
My brother will take Mum home this afternoon so we don't have all the hassle in the morning. They live about 45 minutes from Matamata so Mum will be much better off with them in the morning. That has taken a big load off my shoulders. We will bring Mum home. TWJ has reminded me it is the end of the day, when we are tired, that concerns him, so I need to get my head around that with plans A, B and C. But I am already feeling so much better knowing we don't have to take Mum in the morning.
Once we could have done all this without thinking ahead but that's no longer an option. As we grow older we have to consider our aging brains and bodies. No longer can we expect to function well if we don't take proper meal and rest breaks.
My stress/anxiety level was beginning to run on RED for Danger. Hearing that Mum has agreed to go with my brother today is really good news.
I WILL NOT WORRY ABOUT WHAT I CANNOT CONTROL.
Today I will eat mainly protein keeping my carbs as low as possible. Tomorrow I will limit my carbs as much as I can and eat as thoughtfully and as healthily as I can. I will not stress if I the food available is not perfect for me.
I don't believe in wishing the days away but I will be glad for Tuesday this week.