Wednesday, April 28, 2010


It's been a very quiet day. I should have done many things, instead I've been reading travel journals. Here it is the end of the day and all I can say is that my food was OK. I took a little risk tonight with a glass of wine and very nice it was.

My tea probably was almost a double serving considering I beat 2 eggs with about 80gm cream cheese, and seasoning and made something that falls half way between an omelet and a pancake. My pan is not so good as non-stick anymore so used extra butter to stop it sticking. The pancake turned out well and I topped it with mixed veggies including green beans, peas, small tomato etc. The good thing is that there was little in the way of carbohydrate.

It's been good to have a completely restful day as I don't think there will be anymore until after the 9th.

I am bread free and that is very important.

I've known a few people with alcohol problems who become obnoxious. They would frequently be sharp tongued, impossible to please, irritable, grumpy and often irrational in their complaints.

Bread does something similar to me. Maybe not to the extreme level that alcohol causes but somehow I become unable to cope with normal life. Now that I eat fewer carbohydrates from starch, a bread binge such as I had last week changes my personality. I have been aware of this but did not want to admit it. How pathetic to blame my bad moods, depression, lack of self control on eating bread. As far as I know there is no scientific evidence to back up my experience so there is this conflict going on within me.

Bread or a similar product is considered a staple food in every culture. Eating too much and the things that go with it have contributed hugely to my weight gain over the years. Part of me wants to eat it in moderate quantities, small servings in an appropriate way. I don't want to believe that it not only makes me fat but causes unpleasant behaviour changes. But in my heart I know that there is something in those starches that upsets my healthy balance and makes me hard to live with, for me and those close to me.

Today, here, I admit I'm some kind of starchoholic or carboholic and it's not pretty.

If alcoholics can become well by avoiding alcohol I can become well by avoiding starchy carbohydrates.

It's that simple.

When I stop being ambivalent about starches and particularly wheat I will make steady progress towards my weight and health related goals.

I will not starve or lack good nutrition.I believe that every good nutrient can be found in vegetables, fruit and animal proteins.

1 comment:

Amy-Joyce said...

i hear ya. carbs put me into a dozy haze.. they are like a drug to me. I have PCOS.. and the carbs (esp the white ones) are to my detriment.. they just pack on the lbs really quickly.

I've been mostly off them for a week now, and have so much more energy, and am having to learn some new coping mechanisms.

the great thing is.. while the carbs may have made me feel good temporarily, they were so NOT worth the crash afterwards. the moodiness, the knowledge of failure, the weight gain, the blood sugar crash which led to shakiness, fear, lack of control.

you are so wise to recognize this! thanks for the insight!