I see this is coming in under the wrong date. It should be Tuesday, Feb. 2nd.
Where have all the years gone? She is now 42. We're going out soon as I haven't got her a gift yet and we're having lunch with her at Mum's house. Poor darling is preparing the meal. That wasn't my plan but it's too wet to bring Mum over here and we have to go out anyway for groceries. We are really short of cash and there is precious little in our store cupboard so I'd have been hard pushed to make a nice lunch. I'd rather have taken them out but we are all cash poor right now. I need to find something nice for her but it won't be chocolates. Jay has been going to WW for quite a while now but I'm not game to ask her what her progress is. I know she has determined that she will work at it for as long as it takes and gave herself about 2 years. I doubt she has made the progress she'd hoped but she is looking better and that's all that counts.
I read so many Blogs by woman who have issues with their mothers who are either crass or cruel in their comments about their daughter's weight/lives. My mother is capable of saying more than she should so I have determined to say nothing unless she brings up the subject and then to be as encouraging and truthful as possible. (I'm not always successful in this). I did not cause her weight problem. I was not paranoid about weight except that I did one very foolish thing. When she was about 13 I took her to WW with me. Well maybe I was, but truly all I wanted to do was give her some tools to learn how to manage her weight for the rest of her life. Something I truly regret now as she wasn't overweight, just not skinny. Now I know that we would have been better off if we had simply embraced the food we had with joy. I was far too serious about everything. We ate 'healthy' when they were young and there was very little junk food in our home. We ate mostly fresh, plain home cooked and low fat. Most of the time we had a vegetable garden, for some years we had several acres and a vegetable stall. Jay was active, swam and played net-ball and didn't gain weight until her adult years. There are some things that happened in our home that caused the emotional/psychological side of weight gain and if I could go back and undo it I would. But even there I was not the primary cause and all I could do was mop up the damage as well as I knew how and as much as she would allow. Knowing I did my best in the circumstances does not stop the pain I feel for her.
Now all our children have weight issues. TWJ doesn't. He stays more or less the same all year round. Now that does make me wonder what I did. Personally I think we have a genetic disposition toward weight gain and secondly we are all too fond of food, especially carbohydrates. I try not to think too much about their problems. I have enough trouble with myself and they are all old enough to take responsibility for themselves, which of course they do. I also had an unhealthy attitude toward my own weight and body image all the years they were growing up but although I was overweight I was not obese as now. I gained most of the weight, at least 25 - 30 kg during the last 15 years when they had mostly left home and were living independently.
Home and I think Jay enjoyed her day. There were 8 at lunch and she was meeting up with other friends later today. I'm tired so will deal with the following exercise tomorrow.
I copied this paragraph from
Lyn's Blog dated September 24th 2009
I want to address the questions it poses but will come back later today.
Where do you want to be in a year? Close your eyes. Picture the possibilities. If weight loss is your goal, imagine yourself in one year at the same weight you are today. How do you feel about that? What are you thinking when you step on the scale in one year and weigh the same? Now imagine yourself in one year, 40 pounds heavier. How does that feel? What do you wish you could tell your former self, one year ago? Tell yourself now. Finally, imagine yourself lighter, by whatever amount YOU would like to lose in one year. How does it feel to be 40, 50, 100 pounds lighter? Was it worth it?
Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” –Anonymous http://bellaonthebeach.wordpress.com/