Monday, September 28, 2009


If Pop Stars can do it I can too.

I have been existing forever it seems. Surviving each day, sometimes well, sometimes not at all well. Nothing awful has happened, nothing very momentous. Life has kept grinding on and I feel every bit of my 70 years. I don't like to think that I may have had a negative mental reaction to this birthday but I certainly feel older and catch myself thinking ....'I'm mad to keep pushing myself to do better, after all I'm 70 years old. Age is catching up with me.'

The first couple of weeks home after our trip I hardly had time to recover from the tiredness of travel. I seemed to be helping out at Mum's all too often even though she was reasonably well. I still was there more days than I wanted to be. It's never onerous in the sense that I had little to do once I got there except see that she had something to eat and drink and a few minor tasks like making her bed or folding her laundry or doing her shopping. The hard part was that I had to get in the car and go out nearly every day. Sometimes 2 weeks would go by before I had a complete day at home. I have always appreciated and needed time on my own to do nothing structured or planned.

In August a friend was looking for someone to house-sit, minding their dog and 2 cats while they went to the States for a month. I offered, knowing they had still not found anyone with only a few days to go before they left. We were there from the middle of August and thoroughly enjoyed the change although it was a little challenging some days. Their home overlooks Otama Beach and has glorious views. They also have a B&B which I'm glad to say had no bookings while we were there but would be a fabulous place to stay in. In fact it had many aspects that belong in my dream home. Beach views, within walking distance of the ocean, set in native trees, (N.Z. bush), a large bath with a picture window looking right into the tree ferns, space, high ceilings and tucked into the hillside. But it is also built up the hillside and there are lots of stairs. I would come home from work some nights and wonder how I was going haul myself up to the kitchen and living area let alone our bedroom up another level. We have been back in our own home now for a week and I am luxuriating in our first complete 2 days at home.

Today I should have been able to lie in bed, the second day of 'spring back' to daylight saving. But I was up earlier than usual and dressed before I knew what I was doing. Still it's been a good day. I finished reading Alan Alder's biography and read another book. Obviously not a very long saga. Tonight I'm taking one of Janette Oke's book's to bed.

We bought a cross trainer, something like an eliptical trainer, on Trade Me. John brought it home on Saturday and it dominates our living area. It is huge and stands like a giant snail with antlers half way up to the ceiling. John put it beside the dining table which we hardly ever use for it's named purpose. It will probably stay there forever, a nagging reminder that we spent good money and should be using it. I am so unfit and so lazy. The idea is to pop on it for a few minutes at a time 3 x day. So far I've managed 2 x 2 minutes today. I know it will make me stronger and fitter and I don't have to leave the house. I do miss my beach walks but somehow have not had enough energy to make the effort for months and months.

I have been slowly gaining weight again. Last look was 105 kg. Not good. My clothes are getting more and more uncomfortable and if I get any fatter I will have to get new work unifom. That will not do. We also have a family wedding at the end of November. It would be nice to look a little better than I do now.

Weight Watchers is not my thing. I think daughter Jay is a little disappointed that I am not going with her but since I felt annoyed and even angry at some of the meetings and I am only too familiar with the information in the books there is no point in me re-joining. Jay has lost nearly 10 kg over several months and loses a small amount most weeks. It seems to suit her but I discovered long ago that what works for one person does not necessarily work for everyone even if it is based along sensible and healthy lines.

As I pondered this I realised that we should suit the program or method of losing weight and improving our health to our personality too. I am an 'all or nothing' person. There doesn't seem to be anything I can do to change that. I have always done best when I eliminate all the unhelpful foods. Limiting them, eating smaller quantities, treating some foods as special treats etc. just doesn't work for me. It's all or nothing.

I always do well on reversed pyramid diets .... ie, lower carb, higher protein diets. I am healthier, more vibrant and I lose weight. Recently the Kate Morgan Program has been advertised and I can get the products in my local Pharmacy. I've tried one of the bars tonight and can honestly say I liked it. I am gearing up to do this 100% starting next Monday because I can stay home the first 2 days and the 3rd day, at Mum's I should be able to cope with. That should give me a good start before the next 4 days when I have to be at Mum's and do my 4 hour shift packing groceries at the SuperMarket. It's similar to the what I've done in the past on Lean For Life but the products are more readily available and there is support from the Pharmacy staff if I choose. That will be a bit nerve wracking but my recent success with self recording has been so poor I think I should bite that bullet too.

1 comment:

kate said...

margieanne i didnt think you would ever come back!! its been ages!!! LOL stop feeling so guilty over the weight watchers- its not for you, your daughter would/should understand, dont feel you should feel in a cookie cutter program, just do what you feel works for you. been thinking of you and glad you arrived home safe from your trip- cant wait to see some more photos!!! xo