Saturday, 2 May 2009


I'm totally stalled in my weight loss right now. Well that's probably an exaggeration because I have gone backwards. If you can sail backwards you can also go forwards by readjusting the sail trim or something. I just don't seem to know how to do it. I'm looking at a detox program because I know I am eating and drinking stuff harmful to me like bread and coffee, particularly sachets of Nestle cappuccino. I think there is something in them that is not good for me but they are next best to 'made in a Cafe' cappuccino. I really must take a stand. I lived without coffee for many years and did not miss it. It's just that I do enjoy good coffee and there's this thing going on in my head that I should not go without things I like, especially coffee, at this stage of my life.

There is a mental battle going on between the wise head that says good health has top priority in making choices and the indulgent voice which says why not enjoy things you like since you are probably in the last third of your life. If I listen to the last voice this third will be shorter than the others. If I listen to the last voice the last third will become increasingly uncomfortable with bad health issues and especially arthritic type pain, loss of concentration, mobility etc. etc. It should be a no brainer but tell that to the evil voice trying to shout down wisdom and common sense.

I intend to enjoy whatever life I have left. I cannot do that so easily if wracked by aching joints and unable to move with ease. Somehow I need to keep that idea in front of my eyes so that I don't fall foul no matter how I am tempted to have just one more before I say STOP THIS MADNESS NOW.

WW. was supposed to give me a boost. The accountability and all that and Jay and I can support each other. ..... touchy subject. Jay has all the answers to help me but she really hasn't a clue where I am and is just projecting her own issues onto me. I am being very tactful. Listening and taking notice in case she says something I need to hear. The age gap is making a huge difference. I didn't think it would be so, but almost 70 is a lot different to being just over 40. Things that she thinks I should take in my stride overwhelm me such as not having a free day at home for more than 2 weeks. Being at Mum's is not hard. I'm there now trying to get this completed before I get lunch. All I had to do today is get ready to leave home with TWJ by 8.30am with all my work clothes and toilet bag, make Mum's bed, get her cups of tea and lunch, collect Os from work and take him back in when I go to work before 4 pm. (Os works a broken shift today). Not onerous, just not in my own space.

It is horrible weather here. Cold and wet. Last night I did not enjoy the drive home. Just as I hit the Kuaotuna hill the rain bucketted down. I had to drop my speed to a crawl. Vision was very poor and the road is a bit like the road over the mountain to Oatman, Arizona on Route 66 but we do have more barriers and signs. I kept telling myself it would only be 10-15 minutes and I would be on a less twisty road. It was so dark but not quite alone as there was a car following and passed 2 going the opposite way. I was very glad to get home and I enjoyed the hot casserole TWJ had cooked

The rain has kept up so I suppose there will be a few who cannot get to work because there are a few places the streams flood the roads when the tides are high. Rain floods down from the hills and the easterly wind pushes the tide. I have known the roads to close for anything from half an hour to several days, depending on the storm/water damage. There shouldn't be many people in the shop so I guess I will spend most of my shift 'fronting'. Pulling stock forward to make the shelves look full and tidy and I guess I will be searching for ways to look busy as they will already have been done by others.
Post a Comment