Sunday, 10 May 2009


Focus is still intact. Longest I've lasted for several months.

An interesting thing as happened. I don't know how but currently I have no coffee cravings and the bread thing is minimal.

Coffee .... especially Nestle Cafe Style Cappuccino Sachets with heaped spoons of coffee crystals. I've made excuses to go to the shop just so I can buy a packet after deciding never again. I've managed my days so that I can get in as many cups as possible and still get a little sleep. Other days I've looked for opportunities and made excuses to myself to go to a cafe and that usually meant cake too. What really surprised me when I realised I had gone several days without my cappuccino was this. I HAD FORGOTTEN I had a packet of sachets and jar of sugar crystals in the carry-all bag I take to Mums. They are now sitting high in the pantry and not within ready sight or reach. Out of sight out of mind, .... well almost.

As far as food and drink are concerned I have, (quite arrogantly), made myself accountable to no-one but myself. There is a reason. TWJ affects me like the Food Police and I don't handle that well. We can end up roaring at each other, at least I yell, scream, throw a major tantrum so he has learned not to comment. Jay is focussed on WW and healthy eating in moderation and disapproves of my way. I don't want to put her off her focus and I don't want to be confused anymore. Mum says the maddest things. I might have a salad, 2 or 3 iceberg lettuce leaves roughly chopped and tossed with a few other things like a little celery, cucumber, onion, capsicum and my lite tuna. She will look at the pile of mostly air and lettuce and say that it is a large meal. I generally do not eat huge meals, my problem has always been the kind of foods I eat. Either I am eating healthy or I am eating way too much bread, baked, sweet, savoury, all loaded with butter and often sugar as well and eaten far too often during the day, ... like continuous snacking.

I don't handle criticism well, even when it is earned or intended to be helpful. That's today's confession.

All that aside, I realised yesterday that I have gone without my cappuccinos since last Sunday and not been terribly aware that I was missing out. That's good. Can't quite say the same about bread but somehow my decision maker is holding firm. Yesterday I could easily have caved. I was cold all day. The last thing I wanted was cold food but because I don't have too many hot foods that are easy to put together and fit into my rules I just got on with what I knew would work. It's paying off. I'm still in ketosis and losing weight. The proof will be in tomorrow's weigh and whatever the WW scales say Wed.

I've pulled in a few experiences from the past. I remember the day in 1976 when I decided to fast for spiritual reasons, (prayer and fasting sometimes go together). At the time I was drinking a lot of black coffee and went through withdrawal headaches. I also had some health issues to do with chronic fatigue so was looking for a healthier diet. At the end of the fast I decided not to drink coffee again, partly because I expected to fast from time to time and I didn't want to go through caffeine withdrawal every time. I thought this through carefully and came to the conclusion that I could drink hot water when everyone else was drinking tea or coffee. I dislike tea intensely so that was not an option. For years, long before it was fashionable I drank hot water on it's own. I thought this through and came up with a solution that worked for many years until on holiday I decided to treat myself to a cappuccino when eating out. Since then I've had a rocky relationship with coffee.

More recently, about 5 years ago, when I first came across Lean For Life I decided to swap my weighty cereal or toast breakfast for the healthier option of a protein smoothie. Once I had worked out a recipe that suited me I found it so convenient. It is quick to make, I use natural ingredients, there is no sugar or carbohydrate hit and it sees me through 3 hours or even up to 4 hours comfortably. It is quick to swallow and a no brainer on the mornings I am sluggish or distracted. But it is always cold, chilled in fact, and yesterday's was icy because I was in too much of a hurry. Now I haven't suffered to any degree by always having a cold breakfast even on the frostiest of mornings. In fact it works better for my body than a pile of toast, (wholegrain), butter and marmalade or a measured amount of muesli, diced apple and fresh milk. My smoothies are calorie friendly and well balanced nutritionally. The only concern is perhaps the amount of dairy. 1/4 cup whole milk, 1/4 cup plain Greek yoghurt, 1/2 cup frozen berries, recommended serve of whey powder with it's mineral & vitamin & stevia additions. It serves me well and all I have to do is whizz it and drink it. Fastest breakfast in the universe.

So yesterday when I went through my options for lunch I chose the tuna salad even though at first thought it seemed unappetising. I used more or less the same thought process that brought me to the breakfast smoothies and hot water drinks. I remember writing somewhere how much I enjoy the tuna salad yet I am not a lover of fish and again am surprised that I have found a product and a way of serving it that pleases me.

It's not always easy to have an iceberg salad even if it does have tasty bits and protein tossed through but I know it works and I can deviate so long as I keep within similar food values. Sometimes I have low carb soup and lettuce wrapped around a piece of cheese and sometimes I have a hot dish, but always try to have a salad on the side. I think I've settled in my mind that tuna, egg, chicken or any other cold meat salad can be enjoyable and satisfying and become routine.

Today I have a plan. Breakfast smoothie. Bubble bath combined with hair treatment. A walk. Lunch could be egg salad. Late meal, after work, will be the soupy stew. For snacks I have parmesan cheese, almonds & dried apricots, apple or portion of protein bar. So that's today covered. I haven't yet checked out the carbs in 8 almonds a 2 dried apricots but I found yesterday they make a suitable snack in the 10 minutes we have at work and don't seem to have messed up being in ketosis.

The sun is shining even if it's cool so I had better move on from here.
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