Friday, October 31, 2008


It's good to be back and thanks again for all your kind words and thoughts and prayers.

I did get the terrible cold virus and it is still hanging around after more that 3 weeks. I went into survival mode with huge amounts of painkiller, for the killer head/sinus pain with toothache and far too much coffee to keep going when I had to.

Instead of eating and drinking to wreck my life I was in true survival mood. Doing what I had to to get through each day ..... but it wasn't good for the long term.

I'm still not at all motivated and this is my first real attempt to catch up with all my healthy weight loss and fitness friends. I really don't know where to begin to get my life back into healthy mode.

I lay in bed this morning .... as I do so often, considering my plan for the day. Drink lots of water, fast, go for a walk and do some light gardening. It's the middle of the day. I've had a cappuccino with lots of sugar, 2 slices of whole grain toast with butter and marmalade and moved from my bed to the kitchen, to the deck and back to bed. A matter of a few dozen steps. It's so hard to do what mt head tells me will work and will help my body recover from all the poor choices I've been making.

Fact is I'm tired and my body doesn't want to obey me. It takes a huge amount of will power or nervous energy to pull myself together and do what is needed to return to healthy patterns. I'm not even sure I want to at the moment.

I keep looking at the next few days and wonder how I can become consistent again.

Today we are at Mum's because Jay has been working in Thames, 90 minutes drive over twisting hill roads, all week. This is my 'quiet day.' Saturday, tomorrow, I take TWJ to work at 9 am, have the morning free to pack-up & tidy so TWJ, (after he finishes at work), can put our stuff in the car to go home when I finish work at 8 pm. Sunday we work again all afternoon and need to do laundry and prepare for an early start Monday. Monday we are going to Rotorua, roughly 4 hours on the road, where we have the rest of the day plus Tuesday to work on G's house and grounds before coming home Tuesday night, then we work again Wed & Thurs 4-8pm.

We have asked a niece to stay with Mum so have to leave accommodation nice and clean for her too.

Going to Rotorua is a huge challenge. Jay & I went 2 weeks ago, leaving TWJ at home with the cold from hell. I wasn't too much use but somehow we got G's house tidy inside and ready for the painter. I also organised some real estate agents and new carpet. This time we are working on the grounds and garage and I guess I'll have to organise some indoor maitenance, especially a new vanity unit and plumbing. It is a huge job even though it's a small place. G is paraplagic so needs a lot of help to get things in shape to sell. Somehow we have to keep things right while the place is on the market too. He needs to live closer to family and I'm so glad he has decided to make the move but it's just another complication in our lives which feel complex enough at present.

I am kept going with thoughts of our dream trip next June/July. The Alaskan Cruise will be so special. I love being with the crowd from Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship ..... there will probably be about 1,000 of us, about a third of the passengers, participating in our Conference and outreach meetings. My attempt to save for flights and side trips are abysmal. Last night I told a friend we are going to start our own airline called Eagles Wings. A reference to living by faith in God for financial needs. Somewhat tongue in cheek because I cannot call an Alaskan Cruise a need by any stretch of the imagination.

I need to catch up with you all. I guess it will take a while as I have nearly 600 posts to read. Looking forward to doing this and will leave notes as I go.

Blessings to you all.


Hippygal said...

Nice to see you back had been checking regularly. Have a great weekend :-)

kate said...

wow your alaskan tour will come along really quickly now margieanne. sorry to hear about that virus you had, i hate being run down like that. glad you are back to blogging i missed it!

Simplymoi said...

Forgive yourself. It sounds like you are surrounded by enough pressure, you don't need to put more on yourself because of what you think you need to be doing. Take one day at a time, one meal at a time. God is a loving and forgiving God. If He can do that for you, you should find it within to forgive yourself and stop punishing yourself. You are worth much more than that.

Check out this article I heard about from someone:

Lyn said...

Hey, good to see you. I'm sorry you've been sick. It sounds just miserable. Here's hoping you feel better soon and get some energy back!

dadivastreet said...

So glad that all is better for you! Take it easy, you'll get back in the groove when you're ready. Take care of yourself & don't overdo!

kate said...

ive tagged you on my blog margieanne :) http://mumofheidi.blogspot.com/

Hippygal said...

Just popping in to say Hi and to wish you a Great Christmas... :-)

JC said...

Hope all is well. I haven't heard from you in a while.

JC said...

I'm missing you hope all is well. Happy 2009.