Monday, August 25, 2008
So many days since I posted here. I have been trudging along doing the things I must, ignoring everything that can wait another day. TWJ is still not well. I think I must try to get him to a Dr. I know it is mostly infected sinus but people are going down with flu all around us too and he has had all those flu symptoms as well. Today I had no SuperMarket & Jay was home with Mum so I have blobbed out. really need tomorrow at home to do chores but not going to happen as I have to go make cups of tea for Mum. Right now I feel trapped in a lifestyle I never chose. But really it is just the effects of a gluten free, caffeine free day. I've had some tummy upsets and know that the caffeine is one of the aggravators so while my intake is lowish I have taken it off the menu ..... again. I really miss my coffee. I love the flavour and the smell but it really does not help my body to be healthy. I've also had swollen glands and scratchy throat for a while and can't make up my mind whether this is stress from foods I'm intolerant to but still eating or something nasty. The last thing I need is flu. I need to keep well as Mum is increasingly dependent on someone being in the house with her most of the time.
We've had a beautiful sunny day and I have just sat around reading, in the sun until I got too hot.
Mum is not really demanding, it's just that I want her to be as comfortable as possible in the last part of her life. I know I must be careful to not let this stop us from leading our own life too but as Mum becomes increasingly frail the need to not leave her alone too long becomes more important. She is using her puffer for angina more often and where once she showered or bathed daily she often goes a day between. Last week I noticed that she never once said, "I can manage on my own." She is very independent and likes to think she can do more than she does. We know that if we didn't make her cups of tea during the day, and were there to get her meals she would not have the energy to do for herself and of course then become dehydrated. She is on so much medication she must have drinks and meals at the right time. Maybe I'm over-conscientious but I need to feel comfortable about her and not guilty. Having Jay living there takes a lot off me but then I have to get in the car .... going backwards and forwards. I always thought I would live with Mum if things got to this stage.
Sorry I'm rambling .. blame fatigue or whatever.