I like to read at least one new blog every few days. I go to the first post and work my way through. With some it has taken me several days others just an hour or so but always there are new insights, new things to ponder and inspiration. Sometimes I am amazed by the wisdom of youth and bemused that I am still struggling in my 68th year. Other times I recognise that I have dealt with so much baggage so am travelling much lighter. Then I wonder why this is still so difficult but I have faced many hard things and been broken hearted many times. I have friends who admire my strength to get up and out again and face the world and I know I have many valuable qualities. It is so frustrating that this business of losing weight is never simple or easy. I so want to be more active, attractive and healthy. There are brilliant days. Yesterday was one of them. And then there are too many of the other kind, like today.
Today has not been quite so wonderful. The day dawned with promise, I was up early and contemplating a walk on the beach until it became cloudy with a cool wind and the moment of enthusiasm was gone. Maybe if I had gone out early it would have been good but TWJ & I had job interviews at 11.30 am and I wanted to go in upright and look strong. As it was my ankles and shoulders ached so that I took painkiller an hour before the apt. I had no desire to waddle in bent and crippled and struggle get out of the chair at the end of the interview because my muscles had stiffened up.
Food was going well until we went grocery shopping, after the interview and right when I should have been eating my healthy lunch. I bought a couple of things we don't normally get, bruschetta rolls for TWJ's lunch, pikelets, (small pancakes), for Mum. I was not going to eat them. By the time we got home I abandoned my planned lunch but stayed healthy with cold pork and salad then added 2 rolls. Hmmmm! Was I really that hungry? Later I ate a couple of Mum's pikelets. Then tonight it has really gone to pot.
We came home from Mum's this afternoon about 4 pm, stopping for petrol an the way. The little country store sells huge icecreams in a cone and I asked TWJ to get us one each when he went in to pay. He is the icecream addict so when I am tempted it's not hard to persuade him to get one. We ate these humungous sccops of Rum & Raisin icecream. Now I wonder if it really did taste all that good. Was it really worth the calories not to mention the carbohydrates. A few minutes later we were home and suddenly I was so tired I lay on our bed with a book & fell asleep. When I woke it was nearly dark so cooked scrambled eggs & bacon for our tea, ... TWJ had his with toast & I ate 1/2 a roll. An hour or so later nothing was going to satisfy me so I got out a jar of sultanas from the pantry, only it had dried cake fruit in it and I've scoffed at least a cupful. I deserve to have stomach ache and reflux throughout the night and probably will. At least I didn't make it worse by eating more bread but I have consumed enough sugar today to last a month or more. This was supposed to be a very low carb day, Grrrrrrr!
I'm not sure right now what I will do about that. It means I am unlikely to show ketones by Monday. I might need to have at least 2 low carb days and do lots of exercise, before it is worth testing.
I saw this quote on http://bikini-bound.blogspot.com/ after following directions from Healthy You.
"Perseverance is not one long race; it is many short races one after another."
I didn't do myself any favours today and I haven't aborted the current short race but I will take a little longer to complete it than planned.
We watched the speed boat racing. Man it was exciting. The wind had come up, the sea was choppy with white caps. We watched some of the boats skim through as though it was a flat surface, others went nearly vertical as they hit a wave, and we saw several fly through the air off the top of waves. The biggest danger to the boats though was the sideways buffetting. As far as we know no-one came to grief thank-goodness.
About living in two houses. Last weekend I ate badly when we came home from Mum's. I know there is a pattern. This lifestyle is not good for my weightloss program but this is the life I choose to live right now. I somehow have to find a way to be consistent through all the changing around.
Oh and we might have more work than we can reasonably manage but that will sort itself out over the next two weeks. We have been trying to get work at the SuperMarket for 18 months. Initially I was accepted for check-out but when they knew I would be away over the crucial summer months they said to come back when we returned from the South Island. We were away for longer than planned and when I let them know we were home, last August, company policy had made them hire youngsters. They have had enough of the unreliable youth so we are back in their sights. TWJ has 4 days work, possibly 24 hours, and I have 16 hours work the same days but late afternoon/evening. We will know for certain on Tuesday. Meantime I have 6 hours on Saturdays with another possible 10 hours Thursday & Friday at the Aged Care Hospital. I will go in on Monday and see how things go. If I cannot manage it all I will have to drop something. But I do so hope we can manage. We have credit card to pay off before we can begin saving for our next OE. Right now all I can see are $ signs but we still need to be available for Mum, (she has priority), and it would be stupid to compromise our own health for a little more financial freedom. Actually if we can do this we will double our take home income so is well worth the effort.
I am already thinking about asking friends if they can be persuaded to do the cruise and working out how soon we can commit by paying the initial deposit. Oh! this is so exciting. I had just begun to get used to the idea that we might never go to N. America again. Now there is every chance that we might be able to visit some folk we've met on previous visits and meet new friends as well. I really must rein in my excitement because we need to consider Mum's health too. Right now I would have no qualms about going away for a few weeks but June 2009 could be very different. Because I don't cope with high temperatures I think we might leave here at the end of May and come back after the cruise which would be early July. 13 months to save up for fares. I think we can do it, I know we can if we are determined to go.
I can feel the joy of travel already. And what a great reason to be at goal. I have 13 months, 56 weeks to lose about 34 kg. Oh My! I had better stop now and go to bed or I will never sleep.